Feliz

Today was another day that filled me with emotions and realizations that I haven’t had in a very long time, if ever. After our devotional and debrief last night, I was really feeling like it would be good for us to let go of some of our daily distractions that keep us from being the loving person that God intended for us to be. I’m not, by any means, implying anything about the team… I was more so listening to what God was saying to me about my own life and felt the desire to eliminate those barriers. Whether anybody else was feeling the same way, I don’t know, but I asked them last night to think about the things that may come between them and their walk with God and pray about it. There’s so much love that God has to offer, but if you’re burdened by feelings of inadequacy or distractions in your life, you will have a hard time feeling the full power of how much He really does love you. This message is something that’s continued to come up in my life and anybody that knows God’s love knows how free you feel once you let Him in.

We woke up for morning prayer and met at the hammocks before walking down to the beach. At the beach, I read a devotional and asked each person to remember the distraction they’d been thinking about the night before. We each went to our own part of the beach where we wrote our burdens in the sand to watch the waves wash them away. Before initiating this exercise, I wasn’t really expecting to feel anything other than the typical utter amazement with the beauty of the beach, the waves and possibly slight jealousy for the talent and lives of the people that were up surfing (...jealousy: check). What I actually felt was something entirely unexpected. For the first time, I could actually visualize what it’s like when a burden is lifted away. I could see my own words written in the sand and when the wave rolled back out… it was gone forever. Some of the grains of sand or the shells may have still been in the same area, but the deeply sculpted words were gone. I’m realizing that there are numerous things in my life that I’m aware of and have a passive attitude and want to let them fix themselves. It took one little wave to make me understand that some changes take work, and the work has to come from within. I don’t know if anybody else had similar feelings, but it was a very powerful morning for me. Thanks Jack Gritter for sharing this…even if you didn’t give me permission…or know I’d heard about it but it was fantastic!

The team was at the worksite this morning while I stayed back with Bekah to make lunches. We were able to get everything ready with enough time to go back to the worksite for a little while. I’ve only gone a few times now but every time I turn around the corner, my breath is taken away. My brain is on hyper speed and I’m assuming I look like I’m in a pretty stable walking coma. Most of the thoughts are related to comparisons between my life and the lives of the people here. It’s been a long time since I’ve even let my mind go there, but speaking for myself, the things I do and worry about in my life in the States is insignificant and despite poor attempts at justification, there aren’t excuses. Many (if not most) of my friendships are based on surface, trivial “things.” I never take enough time out to spend time truly caring about the people I love and allowing the time to talk to them. I don’t mean talk like, “text me when you get a chance!” No, really sit down and genuinely get to know the soul of a person. Every time I turn around that corner, these people are sitting there talking and laughing. I’d be willing to bet that they know every single little thing about each other and know how to show love in a way that we never have. Here, they greet with hugs and kisses. Their love is evident and expressed through physical touch and in our society, it’s uncomfortable if somebody sits too close to you on an open bench. I feel as though I’m always busy running from activity to activity or worrying about the next bill that’s due or deadline for school. Being here and seeing the love and simplicity that the Costa Rican people possess has reminded me what really matters.

This evening we had our second night at VBS, which was exceptionally fun. Yesterday I talked with a few of the girls that help with the kids and we had an instant connection (maybe something to do with the fact that I could communicate with them and wanted to know about their boyfriends). Today we picked back up with our chatting, giggling and playing with the kiddos. On the way home we stopped for some ice cream and finished the night with a debrief about what it means to love. We’re not very far into it yet but I am already feeling sick about leaving these people and coping with the idea of what’s next.

Love & blessings
K