Today is the last day abroad for the summer and I’ve spent the morning reflecting on the miraculous things that God has done through the teams. The people I’ve met, the babies I’ve held, the lives that were transformed, the churches I’ve worshiped in and more than anything, the relationships that have been formed with people across the globe. Leaving here tomorrow means something different than it has in previous years. I’m leaving here tomorrow with an unknown future and a world of possibility. I’m leaving knowing that my heart is so deeply imbedded in missions that I have the fear of not finding true happiness back home. This is the first year I’m leaving without having a new semester to go home to, and while it’s slightly scary having no idea what’s coming next, I’m excited to see how I can be used in a new city with a new church and new people. I’ve been praying for guidance as to what’s next and always find an answer that involves coordinating and facilitating short-term mission teams. The only thing that stands between me and that answer is financial support to survive as a missionary living in the States. I know my heart is there for a reason and I know that if it’s His plan, the money is already there… I just selfishly wish I knew where my path was headed!
Yesterday we started the day with breakfast before heading to the beach for surfing lessons. I tried surfing when I was about 13 when I had too much limb for my muscles to catch up with. Although I’m still lacking in the coordination department, I know how to put one foot in front of the other without falling down. I’ve been having some internal ear issues since cliff diving on Sunday and I was debating whether or not I wanted to get back in the water. The decision was easy when nobody wanted to go first and I found myself face down, paddling through the gigantic waves listening to Gustavo’s instruction. The one thing I remember about my previous attempt at surfing was the full-body soreness the next day and I quickly remembered why. I was able to stand up and catch the first few waves but as the waves grew taller my body grew tired. I got to the point where my muscles were shaking and I physically couldn’t push my body up to a standing position. I was able to take a knee for a few waves and eventually lost all control. I rode the last wave of the day on my belly, where I probably could have fallen asleep. I spent the rest of the morning sitting on a log talking while some of the team met the boys from the river to play soccer. This week we met two girls, Lisa and Liz who work with WYAM and have been living here for about 4 ½ months. One of the girls is from Petoskey, MI, which is where my mom is from and where most of my relatives on that side of the family live. The other is from Canada and they’ve really given their lives to missions and had some awesome stories to share about their endless experiences. They’d mentioned Scott as their YWAM leader but until yesterday, I hadn’t had the chance to meet him. After meeting him and spending time with him, I feel like I need to share something that happened to him and his family last week because I’m still sitting here in awe.
When I met Scott, he was the tall guy working in a skate park with “Jesus te ama” written on the ramp. He has the cool factor I keep on talking about and just walks shining a respectable welcoming love. He’s guiding kids to take part in the extreme sports that they love without taking on the lifestyle that stereotypically comes with them. Scott shared that he used to have a drug addiction and after rehabilitation and meeting Jesus, he has been clean for almost 20 years. Scott is being used in amazing ways and was an inspiration as I listened to his testimony that confirmed why God lets bad things happen to us. I selfishly love when He lets us see the good that comes out of what may seem like the end of the world.
Last week, Scott was home with his kids and left them outside to play while he went inside to get towels for the pool. He was inside longer than expected and noticed that he couldn’t hear his 18-month-old anymore. Scott went outside and when the baby wasn’t there, he asked his older son where he went. As he turned towards the house to look inside, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. It was his son, face down at the bottom of the pool. He immediately jumped in and grabbed him, only to find out that he was not breathing, was blue in the face and didn’t have a heartbeat. Scott sat on the side of the pool holding his dead baby as he cried out in anger. A neighbor who attends Radical heard what was going on and screamed for him to do CPR. Scott did 4 chest compressions and 1 breath, which lead to a wheezing sound. Still thinking there was no chance, Scott turned him on his side and heard something beautiful: a cough. The baby coughed up a little bit of water and while his eyes were still rolled back, he was alive. Scott doesn’t know how long he was at the bottom of the pool but after rushing him to the hospital and finding out there was no brain damage, no pneumonia and no damage done (except for the emotional effect on Scott and his wife), he knew that it was a miracle. After all of this happened, he found out that his best friend woke up startled at 6am that day after a night terror of a baby laying at the bottom of a pool. He felt a close connection with the baby and knew he needed to pray. Another member at the church saw Jesus breathing into the baby’s mouth and called Scott to tell him that he needed to know that this was not an earthly survival and that God spared his life. Scott said that as they visited doctors that afternoon, he was nervous when the baby slept for 2 straight hours, unaware of the tests that they were doing. I told Scott that he’d be tired too if he went to heaven and back in one morning! I can’t imagine what that baby would have to say if he could talk and I hope I’m around to see the purpose he has for his life…
After surfing, we went to the river for the last time to finish the house and play with the kids. I got to help the guys and a few of the girls carry cement buckets across the river, collect rocks and touch up the painting. There’s nothing easy about the last day at a worksite but it was nice knowing we’d see everyone again. That night we went to David and Pamela’s for dinner and it was a picture-perfect example of the beauty of hospitality. I wasn’t sure what to expect and was blown away with appreciation for the ministry. When we arrived, Ari and Lydia were playing dress-up while Andrea and Pamela talked in the kitchen. Gustavo and David were outside by the pool with the boys and Pamela’s dad, who is visiting from Chile, was observing the madness. The door was open and as David thanked the team he thanked God for the house, saying that it was His and that they were blessed to have us in it. This is another example of a faith-in-action realization for me. I read Out Live Your Life by Max Lucado and was inspired by the part about hospitality, but until you really see it being practiced it’s hard to grasp. David and Pamela truly stand by their beliefs that everything that they have is God’s and they’ll use it however He wants them to. In the few hours that we were there, Jessica and Fernando came over, Scott stopped in and nobody was turned away. God provides the food and the house and we all gather in His name… it seems so simple but we tend to make it so difficult! Who pays for the meal, who brings what, who is invited or allowed in are just a few of the many excuses we make to justify our closed door policy and we’re really missing out on something great.
On Wednesday morning, David gave us the background and a tour of the Bridges of Hope program. I may have mentioned it in previous blogs, but this is a program that was started after David’s pastor visited Costa Rica and told him he needed to create a program for the teenagers to find a way out of the dangerous cycle they’re faced with. David had absolutely no idea how he would do such a thing and after a chat with the big guy, the answer was “carving wood, stay out of it.” I wish I’d videotaped David telling the story because it’s impossible (as usual) to accurately relay the humor and miracle behind the beginning of Bridges of Hope. After a massive donation of teak wood and the service of individuals that were created for the job, these teenage boys are learning to carve wood and make rocking chairs, tables, crosses and other useful items to sell. In the process of all of this, other people donated tools and a workshop for the boys. David, a retired cabinetmaker from the states, now runs the program and starts each day with scripture and fellowship to set an example for the boys. There’s also a girls branch of the program and they’ve been making jewelry out of shells, beads and other items that are found on the beaches of Jaco.
On Wednesday afternoon we told everybody from the river to meet us at the beach to spend our last day together. It was a chance to sit and see the beauty of the relationships that were formed throughout the week. They finished what they could on the house but it was clear that they’d truly spent time loving and getting to know the people that we were working with. Circle Community understands what it means to be a missionary and that what we do is more than what just anybody could do. Many of their group discussions included the discussion of the difference between teams that come to build things and teams that come to build relationships. That afternoon I had my last opportunity to spend time with Paula and we sat on a log crying together looking out at everybody playing soccer and splashing in the water. She had me pinkie-promise her that I’d be back again, and I made the promise. Who knew pinkie-promises were universal? It was a hard afternoon knowing that I was leaving a place where everything makes sense. Not just Costa Rica but the place could be anywhere on the mission field. The place where your sole purpose is to love and be loved, and to go wherever you’re sent. You wake up every day and spend time with people that share your beliefs and passions and are able to openly talk about what you’re experiencing. There’s never a question of judgment and people genuinely care about you and what you’re going through. It’s scary leaving a place like that, especially with an unknown future. I’m constantly reminding myself and asking for help to live in today, love today and not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has troubles of it’s own (Matthew 6:34).
Thank you to IsleGo, the people of Jamaica and Costa Rica and to each and every individual on the teams that blessed me each day. My family continues to grow and it was a summer that opened my eyes and heart to God’s love around the world.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Encouraged, inspired and tired!
"The best investment we can make is in the life of someone."-Josh Harris
If you've never been on a missions trip, you may not be able to fully understand the mental exhaustion that comes with it. There isn't a moment in the day that you're not using our brains in new ways, with new emotions and to gain a new understanding. It typically has to be a conscious effort to set time aside to turn your brain off. On top of the mental exhaustion, this team has been working HARD for one full week now. Between the worksite twice a day and nightly VBS, they haven't even had a chance to go in the pool! We've had the past two days to find a little time to rest but I know they'll be needing prayers for extra strength this as we go into our last 3 days here.
Saturday was our ziplining day and it was absolutely perfect. I've had a lot on my mind and this was something that took zero planning, zero thought and released the endorphin's that I've been craving. It's been really neat being able to watch each individual on the team come out of their shells this week and it really showed at the zipline. Gustavo used to be the operations manager of the canopy so we brought him along as a guide for the day. He brought his daughter Ari, who is one of the most adorable kids I've ever met in my life. Tavo took the time to show us every tree and plant in the area and explain it's purpose while leading us through the 12 ziplines above the treetops. I believe the highest platform was 200 feet high and the longest zipline was over 2000 feet long and takes 25 seconds from beginning to end. That is one fast zipline! I remember the last time I was in CR and on a zipline, I had a slower pulley and found myself having to spin around to pull my self to the end of the line. On Saturday they must have dipped mine in grease before I started because I could not slow down!! I'd pull my hand down on the line and still sped as the guides gave me the "SLOW DOWN" signal before getting to the end. Each time I reached the end, the guides would laugh about how fast I was going and once my heart rate returned to a normal pace and the fear of knocking everybody off of the platform went away, I was laughing too! I was lucky enough to be directly behind Tavo and Ari in line and was able to hear his knowledge about what we were seeing in the jungle. Not to mention what a blessing it was to watch him and Ari interact! First of all, how incredible is it that Ari is 6 years old and goes ziplining through the rainforest with her dad? Secondly, he is a true man of God and I love seeing him guide her and shower her with love in everything they do. There's a lot of messed up parenting books and parenting styles in the world and it's neat to see Tavo and Andrea set such a good example for their kids.
For lunch we decided to go to a restaurant that's owned by a member of Radical Life Ministries. They have a full buffet and you can choose whatever you want + a drink for $5...total. I heard several people say that that was the best food they've had since they arrived last week! After lunch we came back to the villas to take a short break before going to the Youth group at 4:00 Our team has really bonded with the teens at Radical and they asked if we'd like to join them for their meeting, which meant they'd be at the church from 4:00-9:00 that afternoon/evening. As soon as I dropped the team off, I went back to make sandwiches for dinner and work on the lesson for the evening. Pamela asked if I'd teach the children's ministry lesson during the service and provided a 5 page lesson guide...in spanish. I know enough spanish to get by but to teach the kids about God's abundance and what it means to drink from His water was a serious challenge. I'd asked Josh that morning if he wanted to co-teach with me because the combination of our vocabulary would be better than either of us taking it on alone but we still had minimal time to plan.
When I got to the church, I really gave it up to God and said that if He really wanted me teaching the lesson I'd give it my all but had a feeling that the kids would leave thinking that I was trying to teach them about water... or swimming... or something entirely unrelated. I've formed a strong relationship with a girl, Paula, who is on the worship team and has a heart for the Lord. I (half) jokingly asked her if she wanted to be a teacher for the day and she was honored that I'd even ask her. We immediately started planning, getting the room ready and writing memory verses on the whiteboard. I can't even begin to explain how special it was not only to spend time with Paula but being able to talk to her about life. As I mentioned, I've had a lot on my mind and was having a tough day on Saturday and God really opened the door to talk with Paula about everything that's been going on. Only He could have planned it that she was going through some of the exact same things and we stayed in the locked childrens' ministry room talking for almost an hour. She's been a true angel and I feel like I've met my sister who I was separated from at birth. I had another moment of realization when I realized that I wanted to be in ministry with her forever and when I told her that, she said she'd go wherever God wanted her to be but has a heart for missions. She's grown up on this river with minimal money or resources and where many would find a way to be angry with God or lose faith, she's gained faith and an understanding that God will always provide. Paula changed my heart that evening and although she's many years younger than me, I look up to her in more ways than she'll ever know. Whenever we leave, the girls go to everybody and give gigantic hugs and kisses with pretend tears and a big dramatic show, followed by giggles and caio's. This night we left and when I hugged Paula, she said "you're my best friend." I've only ever heard her say a few words in English and they have a very thick accent, which made this even more special. This "ciao" had real tears and while my heart felt like it was filled to the seams, it also felt like it was breaking as I was walking away from my angel. I'm crying even writing about it now! Dawn, who witnessed the separation, said "that's really hard." I wasn't sure what she was referring to, and when I gave her a look of confusion she said, "giving away a piece of your heart like that." What a profound and undeniably true statement. You can talk about the unconditional love that comes with missions all day long but until you feel it you have no idea what an intense feeling it is to have to leave the people you've truly given your heart to, no matter where you are. When you come on a short term mission trip, whether it's been addressed as this or not, your sole purpose is to love. You discover a type of love that we don't always give or receive in the States. If it is discovered it may be protected or come with baggage, but hardly ever do we love without the fear of being hurt. In missions, it's a safe love and there's no reason to hold back because you're leaving at the end of the week. The hard part about such a love is the pain you feel when you have to leave and it happens each and every time.
When I left, Paula was trying to say something to me and I couldn't translate what she was saying so I had her write it down for me to translate later on. The letter translated to, "Do you want to know how much I love you? Count the stars and you will know the result. I love you so much that it is impossible to know because you can't count the stars." Wow.
Sunday was another day away from the worksite and Josh wanted to take the team to a waterfall. Gustavo said he knew of a waterfall that's off of the beaten path and said he'd join us with Andrea and their two girls. It was about a 40 minute drive, the last 20 minutes being all dirt roads and sooo worth it! We hiked for 20 minutes through unpaved trails to get to a hidden waterfall back in the jungle. There were three levels of pools within the waterfall and in order to get to them, we climbed the rocks on either side of the water. It just blows my mind to know that there's something so beautiful hidden deep in the middle of the jungle, waiting for people to find it. The second and third levels each had a perfectly scooped out pool with conveniently placed platforms for jumping. We spent the morning jumping off of the cliffs into the pools, having a pb&j picnic and climbing around God's creation. By the end of the day, I felt like I used to feel after a long summer day of playing when I was a kid. We played so hard it was hard to walk and open our eyes at the same time. After leaving there, Tavo took us to a beach on the way back where we played with sea spiders and tried to stay awake!
Today the team is back at the worksite, working on finishing the work on the house before we leave! VBS ended on Saturday night so they'll have some time this afternoon to rest. There are great things happening down here and we feel your prayers...keep them coming!
Blessings
If you've never been on a missions trip, you may not be able to fully understand the mental exhaustion that comes with it. There isn't a moment in the day that you're not using our brains in new ways, with new emotions and to gain a new understanding. It typically has to be a conscious effort to set time aside to turn your brain off. On top of the mental exhaustion, this team has been working HARD for one full week now. Between the worksite twice a day and nightly VBS, they haven't even had a chance to go in the pool! We've had the past two days to find a little time to rest but I know they'll be needing prayers for extra strength this as we go into our last 3 days here.
Saturday was our ziplining day and it was absolutely perfect. I've had a lot on my mind and this was something that took zero planning, zero thought and released the endorphin's that I've been craving. It's been really neat being able to watch each individual on the team come out of their shells this week and it really showed at the zipline. Gustavo used to be the operations manager of the canopy so we brought him along as a guide for the day. He brought his daughter Ari, who is one of the most adorable kids I've ever met in my life. Tavo took the time to show us every tree and plant in the area and explain it's purpose while leading us through the 12 ziplines above the treetops. I believe the highest platform was 200 feet high and the longest zipline was over 2000 feet long and takes 25 seconds from beginning to end. That is one fast zipline! I remember the last time I was in CR and on a zipline, I had a slower pulley and found myself having to spin around to pull my self to the end of the line. On Saturday they must have dipped mine in grease before I started because I could not slow down!! I'd pull my hand down on the line and still sped as the guides gave me the "SLOW DOWN" signal before getting to the end. Each time I reached the end, the guides would laugh about how fast I was going and once my heart rate returned to a normal pace and the fear of knocking everybody off of the platform went away, I was laughing too! I was lucky enough to be directly behind Tavo and Ari in line and was able to hear his knowledge about what we were seeing in the jungle. Not to mention what a blessing it was to watch him and Ari interact! First of all, how incredible is it that Ari is 6 years old and goes ziplining through the rainforest with her dad? Secondly, he is a true man of God and I love seeing him guide her and shower her with love in everything they do. There's a lot of messed up parenting books and parenting styles in the world and it's neat to see Tavo and Andrea set such a good example for their kids.
For lunch we decided to go to a restaurant that's owned by a member of Radical Life Ministries. They have a full buffet and you can choose whatever you want + a drink for $5...total. I heard several people say that that was the best food they've had since they arrived last week! After lunch we came back to the villas to take a short break before going to the Youth group at 4:00 Our team has really bonded with the teens at Radical and they asked if we'd like to join them for their meeting, which meant they'd be at the church from 4:00-9:00 that afternoon/evening. As soon as I dropped the team off, I went back to make sandwiches for dinner and work on the lesson for the evening. Pamela asked if I'd teach the children's ministry lesson during the service and provided a 5 page lesson guide...in spanish. I know enough spanish to get by but to teach the kids about God's abundance and what it means to drink from His water was a serious challenge. I'd asked Josh that morning if he wanted to co-teach with me because the combination of our vocabulary would be better than either of us taking it on alone but we still had minimal time to plan.
When I got to the church, I really gave it up to God and said that if He really wanted me teaching the lesson I'd give it my all but had a feeling that the kids would leave thinking that I was trying to teach them about water... or swimming... or something entirely unrelated. I've formed a strong relationship with a girl, Paula, who is on the worship team and has a heart for the Lord. I (half) jokingly asked her if she wanted to be a teacher for the day and she was honored that I'd even ask her. We immediately started planning, getting the room ready and writing memory verses on the whiteboard. I can't even begin to explain how special it was not only to spend time with Paula but being able to talk to her about life. As I mentioned, I've had a lot on my mind and was having a tough day on Saturday and God really opened the door to talk with Paula about everything that's been going on. Only He could have planned it that she was going through some of the exact same things and we stayed in the locked childrens' ministry room talking for almost an hour. She's been a true angel and I feel like I've met my sister who I was separated from at birth. I had another moment of realization when I realized that I wanted to be in ministry with her forever and when I told her that, she said she'd go wherever God wanted her to be but has a heart for missions. She's grown up on this river with minimal money or resources and where many would find a way to be angry with God or lose faith, she's gained faith and an understanding that God will always provide. Paula changed my heart that evening and although she's many years younger than me, I look up to her in more ways than she'll ever know. Whenever we leave, the girls go to everybody and give gigantic hugs and kisses with pretend tears and a big dramatic show, followed by giggles and caio's. This night we left and when I hugged Paula, she said "you're my best friend." I've only ever heard her say a few words in English and they have a very thick accent, which made this even more special. This "ciao" had real tears and while my heart felt like it was filled to the seams, it also felt like it was breaking as I was walking away from my angel. I'm crying even writing about it now! Dawn, who witnessed the separation, said "that's really hard." I wasn't sure what she was referring to, and when I gave her a look of confusion she said, "giving away a piece of your heart like that." What a profound and undeniably true statement. You can talk about the unconditional love that comes with missions all day long but until you feel it you have no idea what an intense feeling it is to have to leave the people you've truly given your heart to, no matter where you are. When you come on a short term mission trip, whether it's been addressed as this or not, your sole purpose is to love. You discover a type of love that we don't always give or receive in the States. If it is discovered it may be protected or come with baggage, but hardly ever do we love without the fear of being hurt. In missions, it's a safe love and there's no reason to hold back because you're leaving at the end of the week. The hard part about such a love is the pain you feel when you have to leave and it happens each and every time.
When I left, Paula was trying to say something to me and I couldn't translate what she was saying so I had her write it down for me to translate later on. The letter translated to, "Do you want to know how much I love you? Count the stars and you will know the result. I love you so much that it is impossible to know because you can't count the stars." Wow.
Sunday was another day away from the worksite and Josh wanted to take the team to a waterfall. Gustavo said he knew of a waterfall that's off of the beaten path and said he'd join us with Andrea and their two girls. It was about a 40 minute drive, the last 20 minutes being all dirt roads and sooo worth it! We hiked for 20 minutes through unpaved trails to get to a hidden waterfall back in the jungle. There were three levels of pools within the waterfall and in order to get to them, we climbed the rocks on either side of the water. It just blows my mind to know that there's something so beautiful hidden deep in the middle of the jungle, waiting for people to find it. The second and third levels each had a perfectly scooped out pool with conveniently placed platforms for jumping. We spent the morning jumping off of the cliffs into the pools, having a pb&j picnic and climbing around God's creation. By the end of the day, I felt like I used to feel after a long summer day of playing when I was a kid. We played so hard it was hard to walk and open our eyes at the same time. After leaving there, Tavo took us to a beach on the way back where we played with sea spiders and tried to stay awake!
Today the team is back at the worksite, working on finishing the work on the house before we leave! VBS ended on Saturday night so they'll have some time this afternoon to rest. There are great things happening down here and we feel your prayers...keep them coming!
Blessings
Friday, August 5, 2011
Blessed
It’s hard to know where to start writing when I’ve been in a constant state of speechlessness. There are thoughts and feelings that can only be expressed through tears (of joy, empathy, frustration and sadness for the people we’re working with) and I’m struggling with knowing how to put them into words. My heart feels like it’s being squished and pulled in so many directions that my brain isn’t sure which way to follow.
Thursday was another powerful day of kingdom building that started with a long, much needed walk on the beach. We are abundantly (understatement) blessed with these meals but holy cow I need time to digest! We could cut the portions into thirds and be okay between meals. We had our morning prayer and I shared a devotional that has continually come up for me over the past few months. It’s the idea that God’s given you a passion for something that will intersect with the need of the world, and following that passion will keep you on the right path in your faith. The team worked throughout the morning as I came back to the villas to make sandwiches with Dawn. Although I’ve gotten better about it, I don’t always like being away from the team because I really love seeing how they’re being used at the worksite and getting to know the people in the area. This morning was pretty special because I had Dawn back with me and the two of us were able to talk for hours! Her and I share similar beliefs about faith, missions and education, topics that provide more than enough to talk about!
Yesterday afternoon I was able to go out to the river for the afternoon and finally got to love on some kids! I was really touched by a little girl Jasmine, who wanted nothing more than to be near somebody. I couldn’t help noticing how happy she was and thought about how she would react to a classroom in the States. I know that there are plenty of things that I haven’t seen and I know that kids, in all aspects, are universal, but I felt like I wanted to keep her down by the river where she is free to smile, despite the circumstances. I wouldn’t be worried about the kids she’d be surrounded by but the adults. I’ve seen a lot of criticism from parents and it’s generally contagious to the children and I wouldn’t want her to ever worry about what she’s wearing or who is talking about her. Maybe I’m being too critical but every ounce of me wanted to find a way to protect that little girl and give her safety for the rest of her life. I know that that’s not up to me, she has a mother and none of that is up to me…but I was able to see a glimpse of how God feels about us.
The entire afternoon was spent watching the two teams from California and Florida working together, playing with kids and giving away their love. I stood for a while watching one of our team members, Nick, and a little boy skipping rocks. The little boy was probably 2 feet tall and still in diapers but the two of them looked like they’d been buddies for years. The little boy would disappear under water (fully clothed) and come up 30 seconds later, winded, with the perfect skipping rock. I watched the process over and over, laughing hysterically each time the boy’s head rose to the surface of the water. The water was dripping down his face, he could barely open his little eyes and each time he was able to find his balance against the flowing water he’d proudly hold up the newly found rock. Once he threw it and the rocks disappeared, the process started over. It was one of the many times I wish I’d had a video camera. Video games are enabling kids to miss out on the real fun in life.
Last night we had another successful VBS and an even more successful debrief. Everybody was exhausted at the end of the day, as they’ve been constantly working both physically and mentally from 8:00am-9:30pm each day. The beginning of every night’s debrief starts out a little bit silly before getting into the serious stuff, but last night was downright hilarious, and I can’t even tell you what was funny! Okay, I could… and it has something to do with somebody getting locked in a shower… but it was more so the relief that came from laughing. It felt so good to let go of all of the thoughts of the day and just laugh. Our devotional for the day was about being the light, and it really helped me connect a lot of what we’ve been talking about and seeing over the past few days. I really liked that Josh said that being the light doesn’t eliminate the darkness, it pushes it back. I saw a connection to yesterday’s devotional and realized that if we’re being mediocre in faith, we’re actually protruding darkness versus light. We, as Christians, are even permitting “worse” darkness than that of the non-believing sinner when we’re not consciously living our beliefs because it reflects on Christianity as a whole. If somebody is interested in beginning a relationship with God and they see us living hypocritically, we’ve ruined an opportunity.
This morning I had the chance to sit down and talk with David about the ministry here in Jaco. I’ll include details later but that testimony is more than enough to make an atheist believe and humble the righteous. Him and Pamela were two missionaries starting with nothing who decided to ask God to use them as He wanted. They got in a cab, asked the driver to take them to the absolute worst area in Jaco and they arrived at “el hoyo.” The driver wouldn’t even take them down the street due to the recent machete murder of a person that approached the area. They’ve now seen the growth of the area and recently received a $200,000 donation, in the name of God, to buy the land needed for their church and missionary training center. There is no other church that’s established a permanent residency because of the price of the land and because of this they are literally changing the history of Christianity in this country. When I walked away from talking with David, I could not understand why anybody would want to do something other than be a missionary. They have front row seats to the miracle show and I want tickets!
The team has another day of work and tomorrow will be their free day where you’ll find us zip-lining through the rainforest and exploring waterfalls.
The team from Santa Barbara left this morning for the next part of their journey but one team member, Landon, was on his way to the hospital with symptoms of appendicitis and he’s likely going to have his appendix removed. Please keep him, his family and the team in your prayers!
K
Thursday was another powerful day of kingdom building that started with a long, much needed walk on the beach. We are abundantly (understatement) blessed with these meals but holy cow I need time to digest! We could cut the portions into thirds and be okay between meals. We had our morning prayer and I shared a devotional that has continually come up for me over the past few months. It’s the idea that God’s given you a passion for something that will intersect with the need of the world, and following that passion will keep you on the right path in your faith. The team worked throughout the morning as I came back to the villas to make sandwiches with Dawn. Although I’ve gotten better about it, I don’t always like being away from the team because I really love seeing how they’re being used at the worksite and getting to know the people in the area. This morning was pretty special because I had Dawn back with me and the two of us were able to talk for hours! Her and I share similar beliefs about faith, missions and education, topics that provide more than enough to talk about!
Yesterday afternoon I was able to go out to the river for the afternoon and finally got to love on some kids! I was really touched by a little girl Jasmine, who wanted nothing more than to be near somebody. I couldn’t help noticing how happy she was and thought about how she would react to a classroom in the States. I know that there are plenty of things that I haven’t seen and I know that kids, in all aspects, are universal, but I felt like I wanted to keep her down by the river where she is free to smile, despite the circumstances. I wouldn’t be worried about the kids she’d be surrounded by but the adults. I’ve seen a lot of criticism from parents and it’s generally contagious to the children and I wouldn’t want her to ever worry about what she’s wearing or who is talking about her. Maybe I’m being too critical but every ounce of me wanted to find a way to protect that little girl and give her safety for the rest of her life. I know that that’s not up to me, she has a mother and none of that is up to me…but I was able to see a glimpse of how God feels about us.
The entire afternoon was spent watching the two teams from California and Florida working together, playing with kids and giving away their love. I stood for a while watching one of our team members, Nick, and a little boy skipping rocks. The little boy was probably 2 feet tall and still in diapers but the two of them looked like they’d been buddies for years. The little boy would disappear under water (fully clothed) and come up 30 seconds later, winded, with the perfect skipping rock. I watched the process over and over, laughing hysterically each time the boy’s head rose to the surface of the water. The water was dripping down his face, he could barely open his little eyes and each time he was able to find his balance against the flowing water he’d proudly hold up the newly found rock. Once he threw it and the rocks disappeared, the process started over. It was one of the many times I wish I’d had a video camera. Video games are enabling kids to miss out on the real fun in life.
Last night we had another successful VBS and an even more successful debrief. Everybody was exhausted at the end of the day, as they’ve been constantly working both physically and mentally from 8:00am-9:30pm each day. The beginning of every night’s debrief starts out a little bit silly before getting into the serious stuff, but last night was downright hilarious, and I can’t even tell you what was funny! Okay, I could… and it has something to do with somebody getting locked in a shower… but it was more so the relief that came from laughing. It felt so good to let go of all of the thoughts of the day and just laugh. Our devotional for the day was about being the light, and it really helped me connect a lot of what we’ve been talking about and seeing over the past few days. I really liked that Josh said that being the light doesn’t eliminate the darkness, it pushes it back. I saw a connection to yesterday’s devotional and realized that if we’re being mediocre in faith, we’re actually protruding darkness versus light. We, as Christians, are even permitting “worse” darkness than that of the non-believing sinner when we’re not consciously living our beliefs because it reflects on Christianity as a whole. If somebody is interested in beginning a relationship with God and they see us living hypocritically, we’ve ruined an opportunity.
This morning I had the chance to sit down and talk with David about the ministry here in Jaco. I’ll include details later but that testimony is more than enough to make an atheist believe and humble the righteous. Him and Pamela were two missionaries starting with nothing who decided to ask God to use them as He wanted. They got in a cab, asked the driver to take them to the absolute worst area in Jaco and they arrived at “el hoyo.” The driver wouldn’t even take them down the street due to the recent machete murder of a person that approached the area. They’ve now seen the growth of the area and recently received a $200,000 donation, in the name of God, to buy the land needed for their church and missionary training center. There is no other church that’s established a permanent residency because of the price of the land and because of this they are literally changing the history of Christianity in this country. When I walked away from talking with David, I could not understand why anybody would want to do something other than be a missionary. They have front row seats to the miracle show and I want tickets!
The team has another day of work and tomorrow will be their free day where you’ll find us zip-lining through the rainforest and exploring waterfalls.
The team from Santa Barbara left this morning for the next part of their journey but one team member, Landon, was on his way to the hospital with symptoms of appendicitis and he’s likely going to have his appendix removed. Please keep him, his family and the team in your prayers!
K
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Feliz
Today was another day that filled me with emotions and realizations that I haven’t had in a very long time, if ever. After our devotional and debrief last night, I was really feeling like it would be good for us to let go of some of our daily distractions that keep us from being the loving person that God intended for us to be. I’m not, by any means, implying anything about the team… I was more so listening to what God was saying to me about my own life and felt the desire to eliminate those barriers. Whether anybody else was feeling the same way, I don’t know, but I asked them last night to think about the things that may come between them and their walk with God and pray about it. There’s so much love that God has to offer, but if you’re burdened by feelings of inadequacy or distractions in your life, you will have a hard time feeling the full power of how much He really does love you. This message is something that’s continued to come up in my life and anybody that knows God’s love knows how free you feel once you let Him in.
We woke up for morning prayer and met at the hammocks before walking down to the beach. At the beach, I read a devotional and asked each person to remember the distraction they’d been thinking about the night before. We each went to our own part of the beach where we wrote our burdens in the sand to watch the waves wash them away. Before initiating this exercise, I wasn’t really expecting to feel anything other than the typical utter amazement with the beauty of the beach, the waves and possibly slight jealousy for the talent and lives of the people that were up surfing (...jealousy: check). What I actually felt was something entirely unexpected. For the first time, I could actually visualize what it’s like when a burden is lifted away. I could see my own words written in the sand and when the wave rolled back out… it was gone forever. Some of the grains of sand or the shells may have still been in the same area, but the deeply sculpted words were gone. I’m realizing that there are numerous things in my life that I’m aware of and have a passive attitude and want to let them fix themselves. It took one little wave to make me understand that some changes take work, and the work has to come from within. I don’t know if anybody else had similar feelings, but it was a very powerful morning for me. Thanks Jack Gritter for sharing this…even if you didn’t give me permission…or know I’d heard about it but it was fantastic!
The team was at the worksite this morning while I stayed back with Bekah to make lunches. We were able to get everything ready with enough time to go back to the worksite for a little while. I’ve only gone a few times now but every time I turn around the corner, my breath is taken away. My brain is on hyper speed and I’m assuming I look like I’m in a pretty stable walking coma. Most of the thoughts are related to comparisons between my life and the lives of the people here. It’s been a long time since I’ve even let my mind go there, but speaking for myself, the things I do and worry about in my life in the States is insignificant and despite poor attempts at justification, there aren’t excuses. Many (if not most) of my friendships are based on surface, trivial “things.” I never take enough time out to spend time truly caring about the people I love and allowing the time to talk to them. I don’t mean talk like, “text me when you get a chance!” No, really sit down and genuinely get to know the soul of a person. Every time I turn around that corner, these people are sitting there talking and laughing. I’d be willing to bet that they know every single little thing about each other and know how to show love in a way that we never have. Here, they greet with hugs and kisses. Their love is evident and expressed through physical touch and in our society, it’s uncomfortable if somebody sits too close to you on an open bench. I feel as though I’m always busy running from activity to activity or worrying about the next bill that’s due or deadline for school. Being here and seeing the love and simplicity that the Costa Rican people possess has reminded me what really matters.
This evening we had our second night at VBS, which was exceptionally fun. Yesterday I talked with a few of the girls that help with the kids and we had an instant connection (maybe something to do with the fact that I could communicate with them and wanted to know about their boyfriends). Today we picked back up with our chatting, giggling and playing with the kiddos. On the way home we stopped for some ice cream and finished the night with a debrief about what it means to love. We’re not very far into it yet but I am already feeling sick about leaving these people and coping with the idea of what’s next.
Love & blessings
K
We woke up for morning prayer and met at the hammocks before walking down to the beach. At the beach, I read a devotional and asked each person to remember the distraction they’d been thinking about the night before. We each went to our own part of the beach where we wrote our burdens in the sand to watch the waves wash them away. Before initiating this exercise, I wasn’t really expecting to feel anything other than the typical utter amazement with the beauty of the beach, the waves and possibly slight jealousy for the talent and lives of the people that were up surfing (...jealousy: check). What I actually felt was something entirely unexpected. For the first time, I could actually visualize what it’s like when a burden is lifted away. I could see my own words written in the sand and when the wave rolled back out… it was gone forever. Some of the grains of sand or the shells may have still been in the same area, but the deeply sculpted words were gone. I’m realizing that there are numerous things in my life that I’m aware of and have a passive attitude and want to let them fix themselves. It took one little wave to make me understand that some changes take work, and the work has to come from within. I don’t know if anybody else had similar feelings, but it was a very powerful morning for me. Thanks Jack Gritter for sharing this…even if you didn’t give me permission…or know I’d heard about it but it was fantastic!
The team was at the worksite this morning while I stayed back with Bekah to make lunches. We were able to get everything ready with enough time to go back to the worksite for a little while. I’ve only gone a few times now but every time I turn around the corner, my breath is taken away. My brain is on hyper speed and I’m assuming I look like I’m in a pretty stable walking coma. Most of the thoughts are related to comparisons between my life and the lives of the people here. It’s been a long time since I’ve even let my mind go there, but speaking for myself, the things I do and worry about in my life in the States is insignificant and despite poor attempts at justification, there aren’t excuses. Many (if not most) of my friendships are based on surface, trivial “things.” I never take enough time out to spend time truly caring about the people I love and allowing the time to talk to them. I don’t mean talk like, “text me when you get a chance!” No, really sit down and genuinely get to know the soul of a person. Every time I turn around that corner, these people are sitting there talking and laughing. I’d be willing to bet that they know every single little thing about each other and know how to show love in a way that we never have. Here, they greet with hugs and kisses. Their love is evident and expressed through physical touch and in our society, it’s uncomfortable if somebody sits too close to you on an open bench. I feel as though I’m always busy running from activity to activity or worrying about the next bill that’s due or deadline for school. Being here and seeing the love and simplicity that the Costa Rican people possess has reminded me what really matters.
This evening we had our second night at VBS, which was exceptionally fun. Yesterday I talked with a few of the girls that help with the kids and we had an instant connection (maybe something to do with the fact that I could communicate with them and wanted to know about their boyfriends). Today we picked back up with our chatting, giggling and playing with the kiddos. On the way home we stopped for some ice cream and finished the night with a debrief about what it means to love. We’re not very far into it yet but I am already feeling sick about leaving these people and coping with the idea of what’s next.
Love & blessings
K
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Contentment
I don't even know where to begin with this blog. I was debating whether I was even going to keep one, but with the new experiences and strong emotions, I thought it was a good way to share what's going on in a little beach town in Costa Rica.
This may come as a shock to you, but as you're going on living your everyday life, there are people in the world that are suffering. Kids that go to bed hungry and people that are running out of strength as they grasp on to any bit of hope they can find for their lives. These are the people that we are working with this week, and these are the people that have changed my life. A massive piece of my heart is in Jamaica but the past few years I have had the opportunity to be a part of missions in other countries. This is where God really takes me out of my element to slap me in the face and remind me what He wants for my life (and for yours). Leaving business and familiarity, giving up technology and instant connection to the outside world to really look into the lives of these people and love them as we should is something that I wish for each and every one of you. Not only the people in my life or even just the people in the church but every single person that has a solid roof over their head and a pillow to sleep on at night. In under 24 hours I feel as though my life has been changed for the better and all it took was a little bit of an open heart.
After a looong overnight trip from Vegas to San Jose, I arrived around 11:45 and was through customs and outside by 12:15. I didn't see anyone with an IsleGo sign so I walked around...sat around...walked around some more and after being approached by many people offering a phone, I pulled out my papers that had phone numbers and somebody took the paper and made the call. I reached Pamela, who called the driver and said that they didn't know I was arriving on a different flight. It was after 4:00 and I was instructed to find a "safe cab" to get to Jaco, which is almost two hours from the airport. At some point in the afternoon, a thunderstorm rolled in and certainly didn't settle down on the ride over. Now, this is going to sound a little loony and mom...if you're reading this...I'm sorry, but there was never fear in any of this. Climbing into a green beater cab (after being told that the orange cars were the legit ones) alone with a man in the middle of a thunderstorm in a foreign country may be what some people consider a "bad idea." Not this time. Having 4 hours to myself I was able to reflect on the months leading up to this trip and it consisted of many "are you REALLY sure you want me going there?!" conversations with God that truly just confirmed that my heart is in the right place, so I had all of the confidence in the world that He had everything under control. The fact that he had paperwork and a company just gave him street cred.... I already had comfort in knowing that I was in his car for a reason.
I took spanish classes for almost 6 years and studied abroad here in Costa Rica, but will be the first to admit that I don't always understand everything that is being said. There's only so much you can know with having a limited background in a language, which makes it a miracle that there was not one minute of silence on the car ride to Jaco. After learning that I was here to meet a missionary team, he told me about his church and his pastor in San Jose. He shared the story of his life and how he came to know the Lord when his wife left him, taking everything...including his children. He went from being an angry man, a regular drug abuser and somebody without real happiness to the man that I met: a Christian man that is so full of joy he is overflowing from the ears. His wife is still gone but he sees his kids and has found a new focus in life. He turned on his CD player and there was a Christian mix, in spanish of course, that he would start dancing to (as we hydroplaned through the mountains). He couldn't stop expressing his happiness and it was contagious! We both laughed and shared stories all the way to Jaco. It was truly convicting to meet him and realize how much time I spend worrying about situations and people. It was like sitting with somebody that has come to know Christ for the first time... free of anger, worry and judgment while full of love & happiness. At one point on the ride I told him I liked his music and he told me that he would never have to worry about a temptation again if he could sit in his car all day with his music and give all of his thoughts up to God. Once we arrived at the hotel, he took the CD out of the player and gave it to me saying, "I want you to know that you always have a friend in Costa Rica. If you ever need anyone to talk to, a church, a friend for anything... I am your brother." It was really, really beautiful.
Last night when I arrived I met the team of 10 from Circle Community Church in Florida. They were informed that I wouldn't be arriving until Wednesday and were trying to figure out how to find groceries. We spent the evening getting to know each other, having orientation and visiting Radical Life Ministries church in town for our VBS orientation. We met David and Pamela, the missionaries IsleGo has worked with for many years, and they gave us an overview of how the week would go. This morning we woke up to an INCREDIBLE breakfast at the restaurant here at Estrellamar and spent the earlier part of the morning taking care of renting the cars, grocery shopping and getting settled in at the villa. There's another team here from Santa Barbara, CA and they have 63 people, all staying and working alongside our team. It always humbled to see so many young people coming together with open hearts to serve in any and all ways. There's not a boundary between the teams, no judging and always a welcoming attitude... something that isn't always seen in the hallways of your typical high school. I love seeing and hearing a constant "what can I do for you?" when the common attitude in our society is "what can I do for me?"
Around 11 this morning, David, Pamela and Gustavo came to show us the worksite for the week. Dusty has told me a bit about the ministry here but this is another one of those situations that is literally unimaginable until you've seen it. 36 families living in shacks along a river, 76 are children under the age of 18 and one baby on the way. The baby on the way has a mother who is 23 years old and will be born with six older siblings. You can do the math on that but 23 years old with 7 kids is something that is incomprehensible. Regardless of what anybody thinks, those kids deserve a chance and a safe place to live. This week our team will be working on the house that she's currently living in and trying to create a safe(r) environment before the baby arrives. While Josh (the team leader/pastor) and David were talking logistics about materials and construction (not my thing...shocking, I know), I stood looking out with Pamela and Dawn, another adult leader on the team. I watched as kids walked with bare feet, crossing the river to get to their friends on the other side, mothers sat and giggled as they talked on their porches, a place that many of us wouldn't touch without a bucket of bleach and rubber gloves. More and more kids came out of the houses and joined in as the other team brought balloons and toys. Each and every person in this place that has been named "the hole" had a smile on their face, despite the condition of their house, clothes or life.
I keep thinking about when I was studying here a few years ago. We visited schools and met people, but never really went too deep into the heart of Costa Rica. I feel like a light has gone on for me as I've realized that we were going into schools and looking at different areas without a real concept of the need in this country. The part that really hit me the hardest is that there is so much business, even in areas surrounding "the hole," nobody even knows that they're there. I'm realizing that I know there are very similar conditions in the States that we may choose to ignore, which isn't okay but at least we are aware of the situation. The most unfortunate problem of all is that this is not the only community in the world that is suffering and undiscovered and I think that there is a lot more we can be doing to reveal and help those people...even in our own communities.
It's about dinner time and we'll be going straight to our first night of VBS afterwards. Please keep the IsleGo teams and the Costa Rican people in your thoughts and prayers!
This may come as a shock to you, but as you're going on living your everyday life, there are people in the world that are suffering. Kids that go to bed hungry and people that are running out of strength as they grasp on to any bit of hope they can find for their lives. These are the people that we are working with this week, and these are the people that have changed my life. A massive piece of my heart is in Jamaica but the past few years I have had the opportunity to be a part of missions in other countries. This is where God really takes me out of my element to slap me in the face and remind me what He wants for my life (and for yours). Leaving business and familiarity, giving up technology and instant connection to the outside world to really look into the lives of these people and love them as we should is something that I wish for each and every one of you. Not only the people in my life or even just the people in the church but every single person that has a solid roof over their head and a pillow to sleep on at night. In under 24 hours I feel as though my life has been changed for the better and all it took was a little bit of an open heart.
After a looong overnight trip from Vegas to San Jose, I arrived around 11:45 and was through customs and outside by 12:15. I didn't see anyone with an IsleGo sign so I walked around...sat around...walked around some more and after being approached by many people offering a phone, I pulled out my papers that had phone numbers and somebody took the paper and made the call. I reached Pamela, who called the driver and said that they didn't know I was arriving on a different flight. It was after 4:00 and I was instructed to find a "safe cab" to get to Jaco, which is almost two hours from the airport. At some point in the afternoon, a thunderstorm rolled in and certainly didn't settle down on the ride over. Now, this is going to sound a little loony and mom...if you're reading this...I'm sorry, but there was never fear in any of this. Climbing into a green beater cab (after being told that the orange cars were the legit ones) alone with a man in the middle of a thunderstorm in a foreign country may be what some people consider a "bad idea." Not this time. Having 4 hours to myself I was able to reflect on the months leading up to this trip and it consisted of many "are you REALLY sure you want me going there?!" conversations with God that truly just confirmed that my heart is in the right place, so I had all of the confidence in the world that He had everything under control. The fact that he had paperwork and a company just gave him street cred.... I already had comfort in knowing that I was in his car for a reason.
I took spanish classes for almost 6 years and studied abroad here in Costa Rica, but will be the first to admit that I don't always understand everything that is being said. There's only so much you can know with having a limited background in a language, which makes it a miracle that there was not one minute of silence on the car ride to Jaco. After learning that I was here to meet a missionary team, he told me about his church and his pastor in San Jose. He shared the story of his life and how he came to know the Lord when his wife left him, taking everything...including his children. He went from being an angry man, a regular drug abuser and somebody without real happiness to the man that I met: a Christian man that is so full of joy he is overflowing from the ears. His wife is still gone but he sees his kids and has found a new focus in life. He turned on his CD player and there was a Christian mix, in spanish of course, that he would start dancing to (as we hydroplaned through the mountains). He couldn't stop expressing his happiness and it was contagious! We both laughed and shared stories all the way to Jaco. It was truly convicting to meet him and realize how much time I spend worrying about situations and people. It was like sitting with somebody that has come to know Christ for the first time... free of anger, worry and judgment while full of love & happiness. At one point on the ride I told him I liked his music and he told me that he would never have to worry about a temptation again if he could sit in his car all day with his music and give all of his thoughts up to God. Once we arrived at the hotel, he took the CD out of the player and gave it to me saying, "I want you to know that you always have a friend in Costa Rica. If you ever need anyone to talk to, a church, a friend for anything... I am your brother." It was really, really beautiful.
Last night when I arrived I met the team of 10 from Circle Community Church in Florida. They were informed that I wouldn't be arriving until Wednesday and were trying to figure out how to find groceries. We spent the evening getting to know each other, having orientation and visiting Radical Life Ministries church in town for our VBS orientation. We met David and Pamela, the missionaries IsleGo has worked with for many years, and they gave us an overview of how the week would go. This morning we woke up to an INCREDIBLE breakfast at the restaurant here at Estrellamar and spent the earlier part of the morning taking care of renting the cars, grocery shopping and getting settled in at the villa. There's another team here from Santa Barbara, CA and they have 63 people, all staying and working alongside our team. It always humbled to see so many young people coming together with open hearts to serve in any and all ways. There's not a boundary between the teams, no judging and always a welcoming attitude... something that isn't always seen in the hallways of your typical high school. I love seeing and hearing a constant "what can I do for you?" when the common attitude in our society is "what can I do for me?"
Around 11 this morning, David, Pamela and Gustavo came to show us the worksite for the week. Dusty has told me a bit about the ministry here but this is another one of those situations that is literally unimaginable until you've seen it. 36 families living in shacks along a river, 76 are children under the age of 18 and one baby on the way. The baby on the way has a mother who is 23 years old and will be born with six older siblings. You can do the math on that but 23 years old with 7 kids is something that is incomprehensible. Regardless of what anybody thinks, those kids deserve a chance and a safe place to live. This week our team will be working on the house that she's currently living in and trying to create a safe(r) environment before the baby arrives. While Josh (the team leader/pastor) and David were talking logistics about materials and construction (not my thing...shocking, I know), I stood looking out with Pamela and Dawn, another adult leader on the team. I watched as kids walked with bare feet, crossing the river to get to their friends on the other side, mothers sat and giggled as they talked on their porches, a place that many of us wouldn't touch without a bucket of bleach and rubber gloves. More and more kids came out of the houses and joined in as the other team brought balloons and toys. Each and every person in this place that has been named "the hole" had a smile on their face, despite the condition of their house, clothes or life.
I keep thinking about when I was studying here a few years ago. We visited schools and met people, but never really went too deep into the heart of Costa Rica. I feel like a light has gone on for me as I've realized that we were going into schools and looking at different areas without a real concept of the need in this country. The part that really hit me the hardest is that there is so much business, even in areas surrounding "the hole," nobody even knows that they're there. I'm realizing that I know there are very similar conditions in the States that we may choose to ignore, which isn't okay but at least we are aware of the situation. The most unfortunate problem of all is that this is not the only community in the world that is suffering and undiscovered and I think that there is a lot more we can be doing to reveal and help those people...even in our own communities.
It's about dinner time and we'll be going straight to our first night of VBS afterwards. Please keep the IsleGo teams and the Costa Rican people in your thoughts and prayers!
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